Come away with me

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

My dad has just had a stroke


I'm not really sure why I'm posting on here. I guess I just need to talk to someone. My Dad had a stroke over 2 weeks and is in hospital.

His  blood pressure, cholesterol were out of control. He not a smoker anyway. He's 68.
When I saw him in the ICU, he looked good. The stroke didn't mess his face up all that much. He's looking normal.
He can't move his right side and his speech is what killed me though.

My dad was the kind of person who had a lot on his mind. He's the kind of guy who could go on for hours. He loved telling jokes and generally fucking with me and my sister.
Seeing him slurred his speech, unable to get his words out, its the last thing i expected from my father. He's basically not him anymore, and i couldn't help but cry my eyes out over it.


The next few days I visited my father in the hospital and I could see him getting better. He seemed healthier and much happier than when he came in to the hospital. I was happy to see him recover.

He got out of the hospital on Wednesday, 5th November 2014, and I've been in home since, watching him and staying with him because, otherwise, he'd be all alone.


Today I cried for the first time since I first saw him in the hospital. His speech has been getting worse. I couldn't understand a single thing he's said today. It went beyond slurring. He's mumble and grunt, speak in different languages. I tried understanding him until he gave up. I could see in his face a lot of frustration and sadness. I started I cry. He just went into his bedroom to sleep again. At first I thought it was another stroke, but it couldn't be...I just checked his blood yesterday, it's much better than it used to be. 120. A far cry from the over 230 when he was first admitted to the hospital.
 
Did you have parents who suffered from strokes? How did you deal with it? And what can I do? How can I deal? I'm at the point where I just don't know what to do. He's speech has gotten so much worse and he just isn't my dad anymore. He knows it too and I can't handle seeing him this way. 

In my whole life I've never seen him like this. I'm devastated for him. 


This Pic taken a week before he had a stroke.. I miss his smile..

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